home sweet home

BACK IN IPOH!!! WOOHOO!!! Just had dinner prepared specially by mum. Holiday=fun=assignments=travelling=....

SABAR!!! PATIENCE!!!

Studying here really have to make me SABAR and PATIENT!!!

Who will receive last minute notice when there's class?
Who are the ones who always get "lecture" in class or lecture?
Who!? Who!? Who!?

Who suffers the embarrassment?
Who suffers the boycott?
Who!? Who!? Who!?

But..

Thank God I have friends around me. Friends who suffer the same fate as me. Friends who always listen to me. Accept the fact that we're the less fortunate ones!

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY BRO!!!!

First time celebrating it away from Malaysia...
I'm missing you... or rather WE are missing you. :)
Though I'm not physically there with you, your presence will always be in my heart.
Have a blessed and enjoyable birthday, brother!

MUACKS!!! KISSES!!! HUGS!!! LOVES!!! (from dad, mum and your lovely sis :P)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things I'm up to now

- Picking up what I've lost
- Brainwashing with the presentation song (my high notes!!! I miss my training)
- Doing assignments
- Preparing myself to bid farewell to bro from Perlis when he 'flies' from KL to UK
- Doing lots of analysis on literature
- Waiting for the next holiday (why?)
- Hanging out with friends from campus who are on Perak tour during Raya break
- Going to Penang with family, uncles, aunts and cuz (one member lesser this time =( )
- Looking forward to more of grandma's and mum's home-cooked food
- Hoping to serve in the new place I'm in now
- Looking forward to Elim family camp and combined youth camp
- Looking forward to Kuantan trip in December (plan to visit my KMPh's friends!!!)
- Might start to hunt for Christmas presents (too early? :P)

UPDATES!!!

Sorry peeps! I've not been updating this blog for such a long time. It's still very difficult for me to update as I still don't have my laptop and internet connection here just... I wanted to go back for my August break. But, something popped out and I might not be able to go back. Anyway, so much about that first. Just want to let you guys know that I'm still okay here. Slimmed down already (:P). For your information, my room is on the fourth floor. That means going up and down the stairs every single day for at least 4 times. Yup! Work out!!!

Just some updates. I'm currently in Perlis pursuing my teaching course. It's going to be 5 1/2 years. Doing my foundation now. Don't be shocked! I'm majoring in English and minoring in English Literature, Maths and Science. It's fun reading. But no fun preparing for presentations. Hehe.. Got to go. Class meeting on. Ciao

What I've been through

For the past 2 months, many things have happened. I admit that I've gone further away from God but I've also grown through this experience.

2 months ago, I registered for matriculation. It wasn't something I want - to be sent to a place as far as Pahang, to be sent to a Malay area, to be sent to matriculation, etc. I asked some people close to me to pray with me whether or not I should go for the program. Somehow, the answer I got wasn't to my liking. In the end, unwillingly or whatever it was, I went. I was placed with great room mates. I got the course that everybody wanted but I opted out (which caused people to like yell at me "WTH are you doing!!??"). I had friends that accompanied me when I missed Ipoh, faced problems with people around me, etc. I made lots of friends. Guess what? I got "famous" in there. People tend to call my name no matter where I was though I don't know them. I wonder how they know me. Anyways, life in matriculation was tiring with assignments, lab reports, extra classes, tests, quizes, late classes, etc. "Fast track" is always the excuse when we grumble. Despite of the good things that I got, I looked for the bad side of it. Why was I placed there to suffer? I hate chemistry. Why have chemistry in my class? I was the only chinese in the class and that was why the attention was mostly on me. It really freaked me out as I wasn't the star student in school and people won't come to me for academic questions. It was a totally different story when I was in there. It's just so scary! Things got worse when I got to know my appeal for JPA was rejected. I sort of expected it but I took it quite badly. I asked God, "If you don't want to give me this, why did u give me those results? There must be a reason for the results, right? Don't tell me you want to throw me here? No way! ......" That period of time was really bad. I doubted Him so much. And I got to know a friend (yes! scrabble boy@apple boy). Somehow we talked and talked and talked. He really made me realised a lot of things. I doubted Him with my future. I've lost my trust in Him. I was afraid that He will take away what I've desired. Wan Li and katan called me once in a while, too. I remembered once when Wan Li called, I burst into tears telling her that I wasn't that curious for His Words like before. I missed my QT for days. I found it really hard to live out my life in there as a Christian. It's such a shame. I know. When I calmed down and start thinking, I told myself, "If this is where God wants me to be, let it be. He knows what's best." Somehow, the rebellious me still lost focus at times.

Until one day..

Wan Li sent me an sms. It was the on the same day the results for the JPA appeal came out.

Take delight in the LORD and He will give you your heart's desires. - Psalm 37:4-

Seconds passed...
Minutes passed...
Hours passed...
Days passed...
Weeks passed...

Results for teaching was finally out!!! I got it!!! I was so overjoyed. I took the blue form (application form to quit) and went to get the procedures done. Finally, I surrendered the key and sent it the form. I am officially off from matriculation. Somehow, I miss the friends I got to know there, I miss some of my tutorial teachers, I miss my lecturers, etc.

Dear God,

I got the picture. I'm sorry for the times that I was rebellious. I'm sorry for loosing my trust in You. Thank you for pulling me back when I fell. Thank you for not leaving me aside when I was at my lowest. Instead, you sent your angels to take good care of me. You sent people around me to remind me of the great things that You've done and can do for me. May You continue to guide me along the way and draw me closer to you each and every day.

Signed with love,
Daughter

Perlis, here I come!!!

Ipoh sweet Ipoh.. Home sweet home

Finally, I'm back to my "old nest", with my piggy, my teddies, my doggies and of course.. my parents (haven't meet my brother yet). Feels so good to be in Ipoh. :) I'm so gonna go for Ipoh Kuoy Teow before leaving again. I'm still waiting for Transformers (hinting.. :P).

I miss my room mate. I miss my lecture mates. I miss my floor mates. I miss so many mates in matrik. Well.. life has to move on.

By the way.. I'm going to KL this week. Hopefully can meet up with as many people as possible before I head back to STUDIES again.

Food hunting anyone??

My hope-to-do list

I need to do something to keep me occupied. I can't be free now. If not, I'll think more and miss more and cry more.

Imagine.. No! It's a fact. I'm going back to Ipoh. What do I want to do?

-Go Pasar malam
-Watch Transformers!!!
-Go to KL and meet up with the RBS-ers
-See my EY-ers (hopefully got time to go yum cha or hang out)
-Eat mum's home-cooked food
-Go for breakfast with grandpa and grandma (sure got good food! :P)
-Hunt for Ipoh food (who's bringing me??)
-Go back to see my choir (miss them super lot after listening to "choir" here)
-Get ready for a whole new environment in Perlis

So much for now.

Praise the Lord!!!!

Dear God,

I'm sorry for my little faith. I'm sorry for not trusting you with my future. Anyway, thank you for giving me this course. I'll treasure it.

Your daughter

Amen! Praise the Lord!
Amen! Praise the Lord!
Glory Hallelujah
Praise the Lord!
I'm gonna jump round
Turn around
Touch the ground
And praise my Lord!

I'm leaving KMPh this weekend, a place where I've spent almost 2 months. Yup! I got it!!! I'm going to be a teacher!!! I got a place in IPGM Perlis. Course offered is English(primary), English Literature and Maths Science. My last week here somehow made me feel sad to leave. People start to treat me better. I got to know more friends because I am the only Chinese who's leaving for teaching (I think). I guess when things start to slow down, that's when you start to pay attention to your surroundings and treat things differently. Well.. I asked for it! Anyways, there are sad and happy moments here. I'll treasure them in my memories. I'll miss you guys.. Well.. Welcome to the teaching profession! :)

Friends Forever

Firstly, Praise the Lord for the wonderful Youth Rally last night back in Ipoh. Okay.. I know, I wasn't there. But, through the photos.. God is really awesome!!!

I am chatting with Ah Ling and suddenly, I was telling her about God who never leave us, forget us or dump us. I'm surprised that it came out from me now as I thought why God put me here to suffer. It feels as thought God is letting me drown in the deep blue sea. But looking at the big picture, He's putting me through these trials to train me to be a better person, to be more prepared in my life. Yes.. it's quite unbearable. But if it's the Lord's will, I will hang on.

God is the one only one who will never leave us nor forsake us.

Dear God,

I've been telling so many friends this. But, I've not say this to you..

FRIENDS FOREVER!!!

I wish I could be there

People are having Youth Rally back home. Me? Blogging. Haiz.. I wish I could be there. I miss the fellowship with the youths and all.

Things to report..!!!:

Firstly, life is getting tougher in here that I wish I can just leave here and never come back. People tend to use you for their own purposes. I guess this is the real life out here, no more "nice nice".

Secondly, I'm still waiting for my teaching course. Results will be out on 1st July. This is my one and only hope to leave here. One and only hope to say goodbye to science. Okay, let me make things clear. I'm really NOT a science person. And having Chemistry as my compulsory subjects, it's like.. OH NO!!!

Thirdly, being here, I need to STAY STRONG and depend TOTALLY on God. Things like those extraordinary and things.. have been happening in my place. Just last night, they carried out some prayer stuffs to some sort like "chase" them away. Please remember me in prayer. Thanks. =)

Till then...

Missing you.. you.. and YOU!!!

While waiting for the apparatus to be distributed, I did this... Hehe..

I REALLY MEAN IT!!!!!!

Hope to see you guys soon...

*Chemistry Quiz tmr.. gotta study :(

*Why does Chemistry exist!!??

Thank you...

Thank you guys for your prayers. I felt much better for the past week. Though studies are getting heavier, it feels much better with God inside the picture. I've set aside my morning to do my quiet time. It just feels so great to start the day with spending time with Him. It feels like I'm back to the highlands.

Of course, I still miss Ipoh. I especially miss everything in Ipoh when I was asked to do public speaking in my English class. I introduced Ipoh to my classmates and they were so interested in it. Hehe.. I miss kuoy teow, beansprout chicken, "heong piah", my time with EY, my time with my family, my piggy, etc.

Anyways, I want to thank some people who have been keeping me accompanied through the time of adjustment. Thank you dad and mum for calling once in a while. Thank you bro for missing my noise :P. Thank you Kian Aun and Wan Li for your calls and sms-es. Thank you Ricky, Amelia, Shireen, Bernice, Wan Wai, Bill Liew, Matthew, etc. for your calls, sms-es and MSN chats. It's really comforting to have people checking me or asking me how I'm doing (especially since it's from home). Thank you Li Ann, Alex, Chong Han, Bridget, Joyce, Lyon, Glenn and others from RBS who have sms-ed, chat or call me. And lastly, some people who are far from me and yet still keeping me accompanied. You know who you are. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Dear God,

Thank you for sending so many wonderful
people to my life.

Life is getting tough

The word "tough" made me think of RBS. It has been more than 2 months since i left RBS. Staying back in Ipoh after that was totally fine. I've got a whole bunch of people guiding me, keeping me accountable, etc. Thinking of my life now in matriks.. it's so different. I'm currently not going through a nice time spiritually. Quiet time has been REALLY inconsistent. Living a life as a Christian is not easy. But, I am trying really hard. I guess.. I'm not that tough after all. Please pray for me.

Studies isn't easy too. When I wake up, I see people studying. When I go to cafeteria for meals, I see people studying. Before I sleep, I see people studying. Wherever I go, I see people opening their books and studying. OMG!!! The point is, I don't know what to study. Everybody seems to be so busy.. studying. Classes are quite hectic. It's not like what people said - very easy one! It's nonsense! Classes are from 8am to 5pm. That depends on your scheldule, too. It's like so crazy. After finishing the tutorial classes, you rush to the lecture. After the lecture, you rush back to the tutorial class. Oh gosh! That explains why I fell sick after the first day of classes.

I went for my teaching interview last Tuesday. It went on quite smoothly I suppose. I was the only chinese then. I was offered English as my major.. PJ and Pengajian Sosial as minor. Though I'm SO VERY KEEN to get into teaching, may God's will be done. Honestly, until now, I still don't see why I'm here. I still don't understand what He has for me in front.

I'm missing many things back in Ipoh. Okay! I admit.. I got a little homesick. It's not that serious already. First few days were worst! Now, I'm okay with it.. getting use to it actually. Luckily, I'm given 3 wonderful room mates. :) They kind of helped me pulled through one way or another. I'm sure this is God's blessing. Not everybody has room mates as good as mine. We go to meals together, study together, laugh together, share together, etc. Well.. if I happen to leave here, they are the ones that will make me don't feel like leaving. Weird huh? Anyway.. please remember me in prayer. I really need them now.

Away from home

Hi people!!!

Just for your information, I'm now studying in Kolej Matrikulasi Pahang in Gambang.

Orientation week was darn tiring. Sleeping time per day is only around 4 hours or so. Well.. I survived! Hehe.. Sad thing is that I've been on biscuits and bread for 3 meals per day for almost a week. Rice only entered my stomach on Thursday. Sad case.. Time to eat is also limited. I think when school starts tomorrow, it will be better.

I won't get to online as much as I want. But, I will still try my best to keep in touch with everyone. Give me a call or an sms, I'll appreciate those a lot. :)

Weekend in Kuantan is fun. Grandparents and parents came over. Went to do some shopping at East Coast Mall (ECM). Uncle gave us a treat.. JAPANESE FOOD - my all time favourite sushi! WOOHOO!!! :D

Gotta go back to college soon. Need to go pack up. Till then. See ya!

Wonderful things that pulled me through...

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened;
he saved me from all my troubles.
For the angel of the LORD is a guard;
he surounds and defends all who fear him.

Taste and see that the LORD is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!
Fear the LORD, you his godly people,
for those who fear him will have all they need.
Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,
but those who trust in the LORD will lack no good thing.
Psalm 34:4-10


Oh, the joys of those who trust in the LORD,
who have no confidence in the proud
or in those who worship idols.
O LORD my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
I would never come to the end of them.

You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.
Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand-
you don't require burnt offerings.
Then I said, "Look, I have come.
As it is written about me in the Scriptures:
I take joy in doing your will, my God,
for your instructions are written on my heart."
Psalm 40:4-8


Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again-
my Savior and my God!
Psalm 42:11


The LORD says,"I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you.
Psalm 32:8

Firstly.. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Nice title huh? Hehe.. Xie Li gave me the idea for the title. You must be wondering why. I've not blog for more than 2 weeks!!! WAKAKAKA.. I'm so proud!!! =P Okay, so much for the SS part.

I must admit that after coming back from Indonesia, I've been quite aimless. Luckily, I was helping out in church. Well, at least there's something to do. And so many things happened for the past 2 1/2 weeks. Let's see.

Firstly, my walk with God wasn't that consistent. I missed my time for devotion for a few days. Most humans are like that, right? Whenever we're in good conditions, we seldom (or maybe never) think of God or praise Him for all that we have. BUT, when we're in the lowest of our day, we will question God why is He doing that to us. And yup! I guess God did taught me the lesson. When I was waiting for the results for my scholarships, all of a sudden, I got to know that I got a place in the matriculation. And I was like, "WHAT!!?? God why are you doing this to me? I applied for this out of obligation and I NEVER EVER even thought of checking the results. And all of a sudden You give me this!? What can I do there? It's so "ulu". And the teaching course which I prefered so much, You took it away from me. Are you playing a joke with me or something? What's going on?" During that period, it was kind of the one of the lowest day in my life. Yes, I know. I said I submit everything to God and I'll go anywhere He wants me to be. But, it's easier said than done. And this time round, it's REALLY hard for me to accept as I'm sent to a place that I've never even heard before. Then, I realised. All these while, I've said that God will never leave us nor forsake us (provided that WE seek for Him). I've not been doing my quiet time and I've not been reading His Word. And so, I stopped everything I that I was doing and went inside my room with my devotional material and my journal (where I write my insights). By the way, I still journal everyday (just not devotion). Yea, thanks to Wan Li and Kian Aun for this book. I love it. It's called - Daily Steps for God Chicks - by Holly Wagner. And I opened the book to the page where I stopped. And the verse for that day was ...

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105

I was like, "Whoa!" I felt so lost at the moment because I didn't know what was God's will for me. I was like a blind girl (can I call myself girl? sounds younger :P) walking without a stick or a guide (one word - AIMLESSLY!). I felt that my future is so dark and blur. I don't know what is ahead of me and that feeling is just so NOT NICE! Things got worse when I got to know that I was offered an interview for a local teaching course. And guess what? I'm supposed to register in Pahang on 11th May and my interview is in Perak on the 12th. I was more confused then. When I read the verse and the reading materials below, I felt God is indeed always there for me. It's just the matter whether I want to cry out to Him and ask Him for help or not. And most of the time, I choose to shun Him and place Him inside a box. And yea, I've learnt my lesson.

I particularly like these ...

Many times in my life, I have found myself stumbling over decisions because I have not let the Word of God bring in the light. His Word will light our path. Without the illumination of His Word, we can find ourselves tripping not so gracefully through life.

Not only is God's Word the greatest love letter ever, but it is also our instruction manual for living.

God's Word is a lamp to our feet...... which means that it provides illumination for the next step we must take.

There are just so many things that we must decide. And sometimes, we like to depend on our own strength to decide. And this creates stress and anxiety. Life is indeed full of things that we don't expect. But, if we let go of our selfish ambitions and thoughts and let God light our way, then only we can experience what is the real journey with God.

Tagged: some random things, habits and goals about me

I didn't plan to do this. But, since it's by my tuition teacher. Haha.. And tada!!!

::sixteen random things, habits or goals" about me::

*Hoping and trying to have a consistent walk with God
*Hope to watch 2 to 3 movies in cinema per day (for once).
*Hope to improve my singing (I miss my choir)
*Hope to go for PITH
*Hope to get full scholarship
*Find it very hard to submit everything to God.
*But, am trying very hard to do so. =)
*Want to serve Him (in areas that He has chosen for me)
*Looking forward to Extreme Prayer
*Love spicy food
*Love sentimental songs
*Love movies/dramas that make people cry
*Adore kids
*Trying hard to read Christian books
*Going to Nilai soon (fish spa!!!)
*Learning to play some songs

I'm done!!! Aaron, here's the tag I owed you. :P

Did you notice? It's exactly a month..

It's exactly a month since I graduated from RBS 2009. It's exactly a month since I celebrated my birthday. It's exactly a month I've been living without the 46+6.

How are you boys and girls doing now? Are you all still doing your devotion daily? Are you still journaling everyday? Are you still fire up for God? Are you still praying everyday? Are you still sensitive to God's small voice? Are you still this and that? Oh man! I really missed the time we had. But, we've expected all these from the very day we registered for it. We will have to leave each other and put what we've learnt into practice.

It's exactly a month from my birthday. I'm officially 18 years and 1 month old now (crap!). And I thought, I should write this down before I forget. This year is one of the most memorable days I've ever had in my life. I've always pictured myself with a bunch of my friends around, celebrating my birthday. And this time round, I celebrated it with the 46+6 friends that I've made. And honestly, I'm contented.

First birthday cake was with Joshua, Andy, Sue Jern and Calvin on Joshua's birthday. It's carrot cake (if I'm not mistaken).

The night before my birthday, my mission team - Kirton - , celebrated with me. And it was quite random actually. I was practicing for the next morning's worship. Then, Bridget came and asked me to go out to see her shoes. I was like, "Huh? Shoes?" And when I was near the gate, I saw loads of feet outside. And I saw my team mates (Alex, Calvin, Hannah, Jason, KC and Shu En). I sensed something. And they started singing the birthday song. I was so touched! Though the shoes thing was so random, thanks Bri! And thank you Alex for the 2 slices of cheese cakes! I was just joking about it. I didn't know you really go and buy the cheese cakes. Anyway, thank you!

The D-day! Graduation day! It was supposed to be a sad day as we were saying goodbye to each other. But, people are wishing me HAPPY birthday. How contradicting! Haha.. Anyway, thank you for all your wishes and presents. I love them!!! And before leaving for Ipoh after the graduation, I was given another cake. This time, it's another cheese cake! My all time favourite blueberry cheese cake!!! Thank you Ken!

And during graduation day, many of my prayers were answered. I prayed for my brother to come for my grad and he came (though he missed his last train back to Nilai). I prayed that Matt and Jenn will come for my grad and they came.. with my present :P ! Hehe.. Actually, their presence is my present. =) And another prayer that I've been praying for almost 1 and a half year was finally answered. A friend who was not talking to me for 1 and a half year came to my graduation! And we talked. =) During the course of RBS, I was urged strongly to write a letter to him after some of the sessions. Though I sent it during the last week in Cameron, I did it! And it worked! I was talking to my youth advisor then. And he suddenly walked out from my youth advisor's back. I was stunned and speechless! Tears of joy really rolled down! THANK GOD for answering my prayer. THANK GOD for my room mates for supporting me through the times. Thanks Bri and Jacey! Thank you Kian Aun, Uncle William, Glenn, Daphne, and Steven for making the trip to PJGH!

I want to thank the 6! Who are they? Uncle Dexter (my principal), Aunty May Lee (my staff mentor), Colin (my piano teacher.. can I call you that? :P), Rudi (the guru disiplin :P), Ee May and Sue Jern (for being there whenever I needed you). Thank you for spending the 5 weeks with us! Although it was tiring to take care of the 47 handsome and beautiful youths, you guys persevered without any complaints. And thanks to Anderson and Jia Ling for being my mission team supervisors! You two have helped us a lot during the mission week. =)

Thank you dad and mum for allowing me to go for RBS. If not, I would not be who am I now. Thank you for taking leave from work and travel all the way from Ipoh to be there for my graduation. Thank you to my church members for supporting me and also praying for me.

Thanks to GOD for making everything happen. =)

To my fellow 46 pals, do continue to shine brightly for the Lord! Don't let the fire that is burning within you extinguish. Support each other in prayer! Do check out on each other's life once in a while. Remember Joshua's challenge to us. Keep in touch! Love you!

That's for RBS...

Back in Ipoh...

Fellow EYs and Elim members, please continue to remember me in prayer. I pray that I will be a useful servant in His work. Hope that I can use my gifts and talents to serve Him in areas that He thinks is best. =)

*I think I've had 7 different kinds of cakes for my birthday this year. :P [4 from RBS 3 from Ipoh]

Indonesia mission trip (Part 2)

Finally, it's time to write a full report of the trip I went. Haha.. I'm so sorry for the delay. Anyway, here goes...

Like I've said earlier, I've did a lot of extraordinary things there. I've never thought that I'll do something like that (honestly!!!). Firstly, the first night I spent in the village with the poor, I was brought to do some visitation. As blur as I was, I didn't know who we were visiting (AT ALL!). I thought it was just merely some poor people who are Christians. And visiting them would encourage them. So we went. That's where God's planning come into the picture. The people we visited are actually ex-lepers. Some of them lost one of their legs, some lost their fingers and so on. The first house we visited was a pair of couples. Both of them were ex-lepers. They have this grocery shop which I would say quite well managed. They were told by our host that we are from Malaysia on a mission trip to Indonesia. First thing that came out of their mouth was "Puji Tuhan". And one of them actually told us that our visitation was as though Jesus was coming to them Himself. I was so amazed with their faith. All the 3 houses that we visited, 2 of the houses have ex-lepers. And "Puji Tuhan", these 2 words are always mentioned. I mean, I can't do that if I were them. With the poverty and the sickness I once had, I would asked whether God knows of my presence. Why is He giving me these? But they didn't! They just "Puji Tuhan" all the way through. And they actually have this dawn prayer every morning at 5a.m.! And I woke up to join them the next morning. I didn't have a good sleep (or rather I didn't sleep at all?). There isn't any fan in the room. Gosh! Darn hot! Back home? I have a 2 fans in my room. If I'm hot, I can just switch on the air-cond. How blessed I am!

Apart from that, I'm very impressed by the ministries that the Indonesians are involved in. I was very encouraged by them. They started training youths that are about 13 or 14 to give sermons. And they will encourage them all the time until they can do it well. They were given the chance and the exposure that we can hardly find in Malaysia. I actually witnessed that with my own eyes. When we were joining them for their Teens Service on the 21st, I actually saw a 16 year old girl giving a message. Though I didn't really understand what she was talking due to the language barrier. But having the courage to stand in front of 450 people, it means something! Another thing to highlight is the sports ministry. Though I'm not into sports, their sports ministry really made me go "wow!". They have so many coaches for so many teams. They have so many ways to reach out to the people there. You can read more about it here - http://www.genb-max7.com/.

Talking about the Teens Service we went, I gave my testimony. I guess preparing it in RBS did helped me. I had Josephine to do translation for me. My testimony was related to RBS, too. I shared something about piano. Here's the story. I was away for RBS when my team started to prepare for the mission trip (thousand apologies for that). But I did my part in RBS also. I prepared my testimony. Hehe.. And I wasn't told of anything else apart from the testimony. When I came back from RBS, I was told to act in a skit. And there I was, practicing for the skit. And this time round, it's really mission trip - to be prepared for the unexpected. My skit wasn't used. Instead, I was asked to summarise one of the skits and link it to my testimony. And guess what, I agreed to it. ME being ME, would not have agreed to do so so easily. After agreeing to it, I had no inkling AT ALL what to do. I was told about it on a Thursday night and the Teens Service was on Saturday. With the Extreme Prayer on Friday night, I knew I didn't have much time to prepare. I thought I'll just write the summary and give my testimony, that's all! Friday came and passed. Saturday came and Teens Service was coming!!! I haven't even write down anything. When we had our lunch, I was thinking of what to share. I didn't know. I started to panic. What am I going to do? I've got my main point to share - focus -, but I don't have the details to share. Then, thanks to Amos for giving me THAT KIND OF preparation! He told me that when he went there the week before to share, 475 people turned up. I was like.. what!!?? I was only told 300 to 350. That's a big difference! I was so scared that when I went in the car, I started scribbling every single thought that came into my mind. Everyone said I'll be fine. But I did not think so. I could hardly imagine myself standing in front of 475 people, talking in BM!!! That was really a hard time. The place where the Teens Service was is actually a big hall in a mall. Yes! A lot of churches have their services in a hall in the mall. Cool right? Anyway, back to the story. When we walked into the hall, everybody was staring at us. I was thinking, those eyes will be looking at me later. And when I sat down, I could feel my hands freezing. I could hardly breathe. I was reading my testimony and summary over and over again. But nothing got into my mind. All that I could think of was - the eyes. Haha.. Anyway, Ricky and Amos were affirming me and stuffs. My team was trying hard to keep me calm. And finally it arrived! Ricky, I still remember you gave me 3 minutes but I spoke longer than that. But, I'm sorry. 3 minutes is really so not enough for me. I've only gave 1/4 of my testimony (of course the main point). Hehe.. Give me a longer time (if there is a next time :P). Thank God that I've pulled through with His strength. And when they did a headcount for the attendance that day, there were 450 people! I spoke in front of 450 people!!! Woohoo!!! And I hope something went into their mind that day. God, I hope I made you proud. =)

Basically, that's about it! But something to share. I think that God placed me in this mission trip for a purpose. He gave me a chance to see the great things that the Indonesians have done in their country. They've done it! What about us? I really pray that something will happen in Malaysia. I really pray that something will happen in Elim and in EY. Everybody has to play a part. It doesn't matter matter whether you're in Indonesia or Malaysia. It doesn't matter whether you're in Ipoh or KL. It doesn't matter whether you're in secondary school or in college. When there's people, there's the ministry. Keep this in mind! Let's continue to be God's tools to extend His Kingdom!

A song that touched many of the team members. =)

What a "cool" day?

Today, the Elim Chinese was having their food and fun fair. And it so happened that they were having this blood donation campaign as well. I don't know which one comes first. Anyway, that's not the point.

I'll start the main point.

After our service ended, me and the youths went over to have fun, too. Some of our youths were helping out in filling the form for the blood donation. So, we went there and paid them a visit. Who knows!? All of a sudden, an uncle came by and asked how old were the group of us. After checking our age, we were asked to donate our blood. I was like, WHAT!? But, I gave my IC to my godsister and she started filling the form. I didn't know why I did it. I just did it! So, there I was, with Jenn, trembling and shivering for fear. But, we went through every check-up and stuffs. I thought they might just tell me I don't have enough blood or something. But, they didn't. I passed through every test and I lied on the bed, waiting for the nurse to "poke" the needles into me. And, finally, I DID IT!!! I donated my blood - 300ml if I'm not mistaken. Here comes the important and the highlight of the event (:P). I was resting on the bed while waiting for the blood to clot. Then, the nurse came and asked whether I was feeling dizzy. And being honest, I said no. So, she said I can leave. And I stood up and left. I still had some church members still lying on the bed, so being CONCERN, I went round and talked to them. Until I came to Jenn's bed and she asked me to accompany her. I stood there and talked to her. All of a sudden, I felt the room spinning. I told Ber I was feeling dizzy. She told me to sit down and I did. The next thing I knew I was on the bed lying. I saw the doctor and he was counting my pulse rate. Then, I heard Eliza and the others talking. An uncle was asking the others to stand further to allow me to breathe. Everyone was talking and it was very noisy. When I could talk, the uncle asked whether I was still dizzy and told me everything will be fine. I thought, what exactly happened? Then, Eliza and all were telling me I fainted and they got a shock and stuffs like that. I was like, okay. I was also told that when I faint, my eyes were wide opened (weird!). After drinking a hot cup of milo (it was really HOT you know!), I got out of the bed, sat down for a while and left. I could see that everyone around was staring at me with this weird look. I guess I'm the history - the first to faint in a blood donation campaign? Haha..

I went back to church as my parents were waiting for me. Mum called when I was resting. When my parents got to know that I donated my blood (and fainted) without telling them, I got a talking session from the church to the old folks' home (did a visitation after that). I guess they were just too anxious. :P

Looking at the bright side, this incident was a blessing in disguise. Eliza and I opened up to each other (cause this girl poured out everything.. she thought she was going to lose me or something :P). I knew that donating blood ISN'T easy. And, as stupid as it may be, I know what is the feeling of fainting! All these while, I could only ask people how does it feel to faint. And I experienced it myself this time. :P

All in all, I donated my blood.. for the first time! May it be useful to the community. :)

*Next post.. Indonesia mission trip (Part 2)

Eye-opening experience...

I would say that the mission trip from 18th to 22nd of March was a short one. But, I really gained a lot from it. I've experienced so many first times in this mission trip. Let's start the very brief story.

-House to house visitation in the village-

This is not an ordinary visitation. Why? Because those people that we visited were once lepers. I DID NOT know until the I came out of the last house! (FIRST TIME!!!)

~Fellowship with the youth of the village~

~The host for our group in the village (Pak Ruben and family)~

~Kids Games (handled by Ocep)~

~School visitation~

~our special our item during the school visitation~

Out of the blue, we were asked to go on stage. Out of the blue, I was asked to play the piano for 2 songs. Out of the blue, I just went up there and play after practicing for only once? (FIRST TIME!!!)

~Another school visitation (it's something like our CF)~

~group photo with the Indonesians we worked with (where's Erwin?)~

~these were taken from the rooftop in one of the houses we stayed (Jeanny)~

~Isn't this beautiful?~

~at the airport [emo scene :(]~

This is just some of the activities we did in Indonesia. There's more coming up. There are still things that I haven't share with you guys. The photo is not with me. I'll post it up when I get it! For more photos, check out my facebook. I'll write about it more in the next post. :)

It's here!!! It's here!!!

Tomorrow's 18th of March!!! So fast! Anyway, I'm so looking forward to this trip. I wonder whether it's different compared to those mission trips I attended during the course of RBS. I wonder whether there will be proper toilets. I wonder whether I'll be able to converse in Bahasa Indonesia. I wonder so many things. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to share the gospel and encourage the believers there. I'm sure God will use each and everyone in the team to do something miraculous.

Tonight will be the final rehearsal+briefing+get together with the parents, etc. in church. So, I guess it's bye bye to the computer, msn and internet. Hello!!!??? I survived for 5 weeks. Can't I survive for a few days? I'll be leaving Ipoh tomorrow at 8am (if everyone is punctual). If I'm not mistaken, the flight is at 1.40pm. I'll be back on Sunday night.

What do I specifically look forward to? Hmm.. I heard that there's an overnight prayer on Friday. I've not been to any of these things before. So, I guess it's a new experience for me. That day's activities is quite packed. And we're suppose to wake up and 6 in the morning, which means no sleep till the next day from 6 onwards. That's cool! And another thing - once we touched down, we're going into a a village to spend a night there. And I think there's more to experience than in OA. Hope I can still sleep tonight despite of the excitements. Haha..

Prayer! Prayer! Prayer! (just to remind you to pray for us :P)

Thank you for the verse

Isaiah 41:8-10

"But you, O Israel [try putting your name in =)], my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Read the RBS forum or my youth blog (www.ipohelimyouth.blogspot.com) and you'll understand. :)

God's blessings..

I will remember that all these don't come from me
I will remember that all these.. they're God's provision
I will remember that God taught me about humility
I will remember to thank God for all that He has given to me
I will remember the people God has placed in my life
I will remember that God has His very own plan for me
I will remember that all good things come from God

And lastly..

THANK YOU GOD!!!

How I spent my 5 weeks..

Just in case you don't know. I've spent 5 weeks in Residential Bible School (RBS). And yea, the 5 weeks definitely changed me a lot. Being in RBS and being at home is totally a different thing altogether. In RBS, I'm not allowed to have my handphone and any electronic gadgets. I'm not allowed to surf the internet (except on Sundays.. that also to check mail ONLY). All I have is God, Bible, 46 students like me, 6 staff and the whole HCC (plus Tanah Rata and Brinchang :P). Back home, I have everything that I want. I don't have to do my own laundry. I don't have to clean up (unless asked by mum or if my mood is good). In other words, I'm living in a SUPER DUPER comfortable place. Going to RBS really forced me out of my comfort zone. And I did things I've never dreamt that I would do. For example, during my mission trip in Kuantan, I actually ordered food after counting how much I can spend on that day and stuffs like that. That's not the usual me okay? And despite of my low confidence in piano, I actually encouraged people to play the piano and taught people how to play the piano (indirectly?). Somehow, I feel that if it wasn't God who gives me the strength and the affirmations, I wouldn't have done that. I did a lot of extraordinary things in RBS and because of that, I settled many personal issues. My broken friendships are mend. My confidence in piano is getting better. Thanks to all your prayers. I know people back home and also RBS are praying for me. THANK YOU PEOPLE!!!

In RBS, I learnt how to commit myself to the Lord. Do you know SPM results will be out tomorrow? And me being me, I'm not worried at all? That's so not me. I remembered crying for my PMR because I got 7A's and not 8. On hindsight, I think I'm so crazy. What's PMR? Haha.. Anyway, learning to submit myself to God is really.. AWESOME!!! Haha..

I'm missing you guys and the fellowship we had in RBS. I read this this morning. Just a little something for you guys..

Colossians 1:9-14

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of the light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

Let's keep our fire for God burning!!!

It's going to end

I'm in the midst of my mission trip by this time. Hey, which means I'm graduating soon. And I'm going home. Home? Means gonna work and study. Yea. That's about it. What about the mission trip to Indonesia? Hmm.. Anyway, just want to invite any of you who are reading my blog to my graduation! Woohoo!!!

Date: 5th March 2009 (Thursday)
Venue: Petaling Jaya Gospel Hall, PJ
Time: 8pm (expecting to end at 10pm)

Maybe I'm looking forward to going home at this moment of time. (I don't know what I will feel because I've written this earlier). Mark it down in your calendar already? Hehe.. See you then

Another scheduled post.. whee..

Another one to go.. Hehe.. This post isn't that official in a sense that today isn't the REAL birthday but yet official. Confusing huh? Then you better ask the "birthday boy". Haha..

Here we go..

This guy here is none other but my.. youth advisor + Add Maths tuition teacher + listener + problem solver + analyst , etc. who is called TAN KIAN AUN @ katan.

Thank you for always lending your ear to me whenever I need one
Thank you for always giving me affirmation in things that I do
Thank you for always giving me add maths homework (=P)
Thank you for giving me the attention I need
Thank you for being available whenever I need someone to talk to
Thank you for so much more things that I can't finish listing.

Happy Birthday!

P.S. - Though it's your official birthday legally and not your real one, I think you don't really care right? Most important is the content. :) Means.. you're actually one year older which is 36 instead of 35. Wahaha.. Take care and see you in grad. :P

It's Valentine's Day!!!

Okay, this is scheduled as well. Hehe.. Since I'm going to miss Valentine's Day in Ipoh, I'm going to blog about it. I heard that the youths are celebrating it (don't know whether it's on anot). Gosh! I was so jealous when I knew it. Anyway, I know that you can't have everything you want everytime. So.. yea.

Honestly, I never celebrate Valentine's Day. I've not been in a relationship before. So, there isn't any romance on this day. I know sms will be circulating like crazy during these few days and the telecommunication companies are making tonnes of money because of it. Florists and gift shops are also making a big profit out of this day. Guys especially will be ordering roses and teddy bears for their other half. Well, girls always say, "Don't have to spend money la. It won't last one." Girls being girls - talk one thing, think of another thing. It's normal. Haha.. Maybe it doesn't apply to every girl. But for me, I want to receive a bouquet of flowers at least once. I don't mind whether it's on Valentine's or whenever. So much for that. My friends remember this day as the "couple couple" day. But I think it means more than that. Who says that Valentine's is only for couples? It's also for friends. Be it close friends or normal hi-bye friends. So, as the sms are circulating and people are receiving tonnes of gifts, I would like to wish all my friends and the readers of this blog...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

*And oh, happy birthday, Aileen!

*Andrew, I know you're leaving today. Do take care of yourself. And thank you for being a good brother to me. All the best to you. Hope that you'll excel in everything that you do. See you and enjoy UK! :)

Special dedication

Hello everyone!!! Surprise!!! Some of you might be thinking how come I can online when I'm in Cameron. Don't simply guess. I didn't sneak out to cyber cafe ok! I scheduled this post before I left. This post is specially dedicated to someone. This someone added colours to my life. He likes giving surprises - come back and stand in front of me all of a sudden and give me a shock of my life. He also likes to mess up my hair (I wonder why people like to do this to me). He also accompanied me through my hard times. And he will "manja" me like a brother to his little sister. He will "pujuk" me whenever I say I will cry or am crying. I remember the time I got my results and I was crying like mad (due to some reasons). He was there to accompany me. I'm so touched. Hehe.. He is very humble in some ways (haha..!!!). But, seriously, his talents in music is undeniable! I really salute him for that. Keep it up! Another good point to highlight, he always accompany his grandma. Good boy ar! Haha.. Well, apart from good, he also got bad things ok! He LOVES to keep things to himself (maybe character punya pasal). He also likes to go back to KL all of a sudden. Come back and go back suddenly. He likes these a lot (but partly due to work).

Eh Matt Labrooy, one year older already! Haha.. Happy Birthday oh!!! All the best in your future undertakings and may God bless you in everything you do. Take care. :)

Leaving!

These few days have been mad. Rush here and there to get things done. And after all those traveling, I noticed that it's finally here. Tomorrow is 28th of January 2009 - means it's RBS registration. Yup!! I'll be leaving tomorrow. Looking forward to it or not? I've no idea. I'll be surrendering my phone upon arrival. And my phone will be kept until the last day of RBS. So, in order to save your money and sms, don't sms me. It's only a waste of money. Okay? Take care people and log on to my blog once in a while. For I've prepared some posts during my absence. =) I'll be in RBS till 5th of March and there's a visitation day on the 8th of February. So, see you!!!

*A "friend" called fever is visiting me now. So, do pray for me. Thanks

Looking forward to..

Today's (Friday)
-caregroup!!! I'm going to meet them for the last time before I leave for RBS

Tomorrow's (Saturday)
-last "shopping" with brother
-bbq with my cousins
-eating my cousin's darling's spaghetti (nice anot leh?) :P

Sunday's
-worship (last worship before leaving for RBS)
-steamboat with my family (reunion dinner!!!)
-angpao!!!

Monday's
-more angpao!!!
-grandpa's birthday lunch
-traveling to mum's hometown (not looking forward to it, I just don't like to travel in car)
-more food (cornflake cookies and "gui ga pek" - my favourite!!! and probably laksa [homecooked by aunt or Tasik Raban or both] that I get every year)

Tuesday's
-more more angpao!!!
-meet up with uncles, aunties, cousins, nieces and nephews
-more more food!!! (maybe eldest aunt will get me that very particular Penang chee cheong fun, don't know whether she remembers anot)
-discussions (who will get married first, who got/will get how many A's, who this and who that)
-traveling back to Ipoh (home sweet home!!!)
-last packing for RBS

Wednesday's
-RBS, here I come!!! Whee..!!!
-bidding farewell (not so looking forward to this cause I'm so gonna miss everyone)
-RBS means.. new friends!!! new environment!!! new leng lui and leng zai!!! new.. almost everything!!!

:)

American Dream - Casting Crowns

All work and no play may have made Jack a dull boy
But all work and no God has left Jack with a lost soul
But he's moving on full steam
He's chasing the American dream
And he's gonna give his family the finer things

Not this time son
I've no time to waste
Maybe tomorrow we'll have time to play
And then he slips into His new B M W
and drives farther and farther and farther away

So he works all day and tries to sleep at night
He says things will get better
better in time

Chorus:
'Cause he works and he builds with his own two hands
and he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
but the wind and the rain are 'comin crashing in
time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
his kingdom stands

His American dream is begining to seem
More and more like a nightmare
with every day passing
"Daddy can you come to my game?"
"Oh baby, please don't work late."
Another wasted weekend
And they are slipping away

[ Casting Crowns Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
'Cause he works all day and lies awake at night
He tells them things will get better
it'll take just a llittle more time

Chorus

He used to say, "Who ever dies with the most toys wins."
But if he loses his soul, what has he gained in the end
I'll take a shack on a rock
Over a castle in the sand

Now he works all day and cries alone at night
it's not getting any better
looks like hes running out of time

'Cause he worked and he built with is own two hands
And he put all he had in a castle made with sand
but the wind and the rain are coming crashing in
time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
his kingdom stands

All they really wanted was you
All they really wanted was you
All they really wanted was you

Verses

FRIENDS

An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.
Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.

Proverbs 18:19

-random thoughts came-

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

There are "friends" who destroy each other,
but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Many people today feel isolated from others. Ever feel that way? Being in a crowd might make you more aware of your isolation. Lovely people don't need to hear "have a nice day". They need friends who will stick close, listen, care and offer help when it is needed - in good and bad times. It is better to have one such friend than dozens of superficial acquaintances. Instead of wishing you could find a true friend, why not seek to become one yourself. There are people who need your friendship. Ask God to reveal them to you, and then tak on the challenge of being a true friend.

INNER BEAUTY

Loyalty makes a person attractive.
It is better to be poor than dishonest.

Proverbs 19:22

Many people spend tons of money trying to improve the way they look outside. Unfortunately, they sometimes neglect their inner appearance. Inwardly, you can be as attractive as you want to be. You can have kindness, for example, in any amount you choose. Or, as this verse suggests, you can be loyal. You can control your most important asset: the attractiveness of your character.

A real experience

I got a part time job as a promoter at Tesco Extra. I was given the job to promote contact lens. And it's so not easy. Standing there for hours to earn money is indeed a.. HARD thing to do. I know it's hard to earn money. And I'll treasure them. =) My legs are aching now. Gotta to get some rest. Imagine standing for 2 days and I could only sell 9 boxes. So, I'll just tell myself that the economy now is not good. That's why. Hehehe.. See you.

Good news?

First, I got my license today!

Second, I went out for BIG DINNER today (grandma's birthday).

Thirdly, I got a part time job. But, I'm so darn scared now. What if I can't get rid of any stocks?

Relieved

I passed my driving test.

Finally it's here

14th of January marks the D-day of it! My car test. I'm kind of nervous eh. Scared I won't pass my slope, can't do my parking, can't drive well, engine will die, etc. Aiyo..!! I was given two hours extra by my instructor (need to pay wan ok!). Maybe he also doesn't have the confidence in me. Sigh. Pray hard peeps! If you don't want to meet with any accidents, please don't go to Simee, Jusco and Tasek area between 11am and 2pm. I'm driving there. Better stay out of there! Just in case.

Calm down!!!

breathe in.. exhale.. breathe in.. exhale..
Prrrryyy... Prrrryyy... Mah! Mah! Mah!
(If you und this =p)

Penang trip

Went up to Penang yesterday after lunch. Journey was long. Maybe it's due to the absence of my brother and I was there just because I was free at home. First destination was mum's youngest sister's house. Then, went to my cousin's house to take house keys to my eldest aunt's house and went to my third aunt's house. I know it's confusing. It's all because of my mum's big family. I'm also quite confused at times. Sigh. After those visitation, it's FOOD TIME!!! Woohoo! I've always love Penang food. So, food=gain weight=fat! Yes! That's what I will get from Penang trips. So for dinner, I ordered fried oyster, laksa, curry mee, fried kuoy "gark" and "chai kuey". Of course I didn't finish them myself. It's a tradition in my family that we ordered different dishes and have a taste of all the food. Yummy! After that, my aunt packed a packet of wan ton mee for us to be brought back as supper. After sending my aunt home, we headed back home to get some rest.

Today, dad woke up early morning and went to GH for his check up. That was the main purpose of the trip. Mum and I followed him just to get some Penang delights. =P I could hardly sleep last night so I woke up quite late. Went for breakfast around 10.30. Haha.. We ordered loh mee, fried kuoy teow and chee cheong fun. After that, we headed towards my 3rd aunt's house again as we didn't manage to visit her yesterday. When we got there, I was so super happy. Know why? There's a baby there!!! Aaahh!!! It's my niece!!! First time meeting her. I was so excited. This is a picture of her.

Cute right!!?? Haha.. I love her so muchie. She warmed up rather fast. According to my aunt, she's scared of stranger, especially those with dark complexion. But with me? Maybe I'm more friendly, fairer (haha..XD), etc. So she gets close to me in less than 15 minutes. Hehe.. **applause** I remembered how she cried when I was about to leave. Poor thing! She wanted me to carry her. So, I told dad that I'll carry her for a few minutes. Dad said okay. When it was time, my aunt wanted to carry her. She didn't want her grandma. She clung on to me so tightly. Kesian. I had to leave, my dear girl. She cried and cried. My dear girl, I'll see you during Chinese New Year, okay? After that, we headed to Sunshine for a short time of shopping. Sad to say, no things to buy. Just grab a packet of "lurve". Then, I went for lunch. Yes! Food again. Hehe.. Lurb them! Ordered laksa, fried kuoy teow and curry mee. We packed Hokkien mee (prawn mee) home for dinner. Rushed back to Ipoh after that as I have driving lessons. Yup! Exam is on this Wednesday. Very nervous..

Only Love - Trademark

2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
Chorus
But only love can say - try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust

[Chorus]

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our last good-bye

[Chorus]
That's something only love can do

Broken friendship

This phrase has been in my mind for a long period of time. Actually, this can be considered as a regret. A regret that will haunt me. Even if it doesn't haunt for 24 hours a day, it will still haunt me for at least a few minutes or seconds in a day. I have always wondered when this friendship can be mend. Is it within seconds? Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Or even a life time? I know it's so stupid of me to have such thoughts. Deep inside me, I knew that it's impossible. BUT, there's only one person who can mend this - God. I've been praying and praying and praying for it for such a long time. Sometimes, I do feel tired. But, I know that persistence is all that matters. And I know God has His purpose for the answer "wait" or even the answer "no". Because He knows what is best for me. He would not give me something that He thinks is not good. However, sometimes, humans just find it difficult to trust and be patient. And I think I'm one of them.

Father Lord, I know You are the great and Almighty one. Without You, I am nothing. I pray that You will give me the strength to continue. I pray that may my faith in You will grow as time goes by. Amen

You can whisper in the crowd to him
You can cry when you're alone with him
You don't have to pray out loud to him
He knows your thoughts
On a lofty mountain peak, he's there
In a meadow by the stream, he's there
Everywhere on earth you go
He's been there from the start

I'm sure there's a reason for the songwriter to write this song.

One word.. WONDERFUL!!!

Today was the long awaited day. It's the International Youth Rally..!!! 4 churches were chosen to lead the singspiration (or worship). They are - Ipoh Wesley, CGMC, CGBC and my church ~ Elim!!!. The whole day was raining today (as the Ipoh-ians know). So, I said to myself that, "God purposely let the rain pour now so that there will be no rain tonight." When the finale started, it was still drizzling. So, I thought, "God wants us to have a cooling condition to worship Him. Yes! It must be like this." And true enough, the rain STOPPED!!! Thank God! So, it went on and on and on. Until Uncle Steven started sharing, I don't know why. Tears somehow started to swell up in eyes. Don't ask my why. I really don't know. I managed to control it until we had our round prayer for our team. I couldn't stand it anymore. Tears started rolling down and down and down. Some thought I was nervous. But, I'm not! I was told that one of our youths raised up the hand when Uncle Steven asked who would like to commit themselves to God. I was so glad!

Having people coming from different country to worship God is really wonderful!

One heart, one spirit
One voice to praise You
We are the body of Christ

Finally, it was our turn! We went up there and gave out our best! Yup! Our very best!!! I don't know about the others. But me? I managed to worship. Thank God! Towards the end, I was jumping with the team. I think, for those who know me, their specs must have dropped. Haha.. Everyone thinks that I'm a girl who is controlled strictly by my dad. Yea.. I daddy's girl and sort of thing. Anyway, I'm not there to show other people anything. I just want to tell everyone that with God, everything is possible. Thinking back on what we did just now? It's really fantastic! Indeed God is Almighty! May our singing and praises be pleasing unto Him!

To give you praise
In everything I do
And all the praise goes out to You!!!!!

Something that touches me..

Matthew 18:1-4
1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" 2 He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3 And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
(NIV Bible)

In this scripture passage, Jesus calls us to become like little children. The call isn't to be childish, but to simply be child like. Young children know that they are needy. They look to their parents to provide everything that they need and want...food, clothing, shelter, teaching, activities, guidance and even discipline. They are like love sponges, having the capacity to soak into their little bodies as much love as we can give them. They live for hugs and kisses and meaningful touch, an intimate connection that affirms them and tells them that they are welcome into this world and that they are greatly loved.

Jesus calls us to become like little children. Since Jesus says that becoming child-like is a pre-requisite to entering the Kingdom of Heaven, we should take note of another characteristic of a little child. Simple faith. Little children have the faith to simply believe that they will receive what they need when they need it. They don't worry about it, they don't strive over it, they simply expect it.

When my youngest daughter Candice, was very small, she was completely confident that I had an unlimited supply of personal finances for her to draw from. Whenever she wanted something extravagant, she would tell me just to go to the bank and get the money, because they had lots. "Just go to the bank dad" she would say. I think in some ways that God wants us to relate to him like my daughter, Candice related to me.

No worries, no striving, just complete confidence in the ability of her father to meet her needs. While my little girl did not always get what she wanted when she wanted it, I couldn't help but to delight in her boldness and her complete trust in me. As you read this devotional, my challenge to you is to simply let yourself become very little. The expectations in the world we live in are often to be very grown up. While maturity and responsibility are wonderful attributes, for a moment, set aside the strong, self-sufficient, independent you and allow yourself to become very small and needy before God.

He wants to pick you up, give you a hug, and whisper your name in your ear. You are his child, and he is your Father. This is your destiny, this is what you were created for. When you let Him love you in this way, as a father loves his little child, you will begin to realize that you are still a love sponge, and the need for love and affirmation that you had as a little child is still there within you. When we allow ourselves to be embraced by God, we begin to see that this is what we have been looking for all our lives. We may have searched for it in careers, relationships, and in many others things, but we only find it in one place…the arms of our Heavenly Father.

PRAYER
Heavenly Father, I pray that you would give me the grace to become more childlike. I want to walk in the simplicity of faith that allows me to trust you wholeheartedly for all my needs. I want all that is within me to cry out Abba Father just like Jesus did. In the name of Your beloved Son, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

(Excepts from the Father's Love Letter Devotional)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

It's 1st of January 2009 (crap)!!! Which means it's a new year, a new life, a new chapter, a new beginning and so much more "new". I'm 18 this year! Which means I get to watch movies that I wasn't allowed to for the past 17 years. I'm not despo for it. But, I feel like I'm a grown up now. Hehe.. Anyway, Happy New Year to all and all the best throughout the whole year! I wonder what will happen this year. hmm...