Confirmed!

Referring to the post of "Mixture of confusion and thankfulness", it's confirmed that I'm thinking too much! So happy!!! Yeah! Well, it can never be denied that girls (not all, at least I do) do like to think much. Sometimes way too much that we got confused. =) I'm so glad that I'm thinking too much this time.

Biology PEKA?

This is a packet of green beans which I'm suppose to plant for my Biology PEKA (some sort of experiment for SPM stuffs). I am suppose to record down their height for 12 consecutive days. When I got this packet, I thought:"So childish! We're Form 5 already, why are we still doing this thing which I've done in my primary school days? Put the wool in a cup, put the green beans on the wool, water it daily, record its height and etc. These are what primary school kids do! I'm a secondary school student and I'm about to graduate. Must I do it?" Well, I gave in and did it. It's my PEKA and it affects my SPM (as the teachers said). So, during the holidays I was having my fun time and I've totally forgotten about it until Monday night. I asked some cups from my mum and started work on Tuesday morning. My first day of record is supose to be Wednesday. Hence, I waited..and waited..and waited. Finally, it arrives. Guess what? It has germinated! Wow! That was fast. the highest reading of the 12 green beans I've planted on the first day was 1.0cm! Can you believe it? That was like so amazing! It grew 1.0cm a day. I was so happy. After "rejoicing" about it, I thought:"Are you crazy? You said it is childish and yet you're laughing as if you got your baby. Siao!" Anyway, I continued on with my work. And on the third day (which is today), the highest reading went up to 4.5cm! Just three days! That was wonderful! However, the lowest reading was only 2.0cm. That was such a vast difference. I did the same thing to every green bean and each of it grew in a different rate. Why is that so? I guess it might be due to the condition of the beans. Maybe the bean is "sick". So this is how my results like:

The difference between the lowest (top) and the highest (bottom). Can you see it? The shoot for the highest one is out of the cup already. However, the shoot of the lowest one is still in the cup. It's just the same as our spiritual lives and earthly lives. For our spiritual life, most of us maybe learning the same thing in church and in Sunday School. However, some people can really grow in their lives and some cannot. This can happen though they are in the same class and listening to the same thing. You can also listen to it for years but you can choose not to listen to it and continue on with your old way. In our earthly lives, it's the same. You can put in 100% of your effort in doing things. But, you can't get what you want everytime. Maybe you work on projects for months and you have put in everything you have. But, the results that come out might not be equally good. So, you need to learn how to give and take. Am I crapping? I don't know. But, when I saw the germination of the seeds, it really touches me (at least a little). The beans strive to live. What about us? Are we striving to live? If we are, what for? Yourself? Your family? Food? Your partner? Or God? Sometimes, we get too carried away with our lives that we often forget about Him. I think we do have to try to come back, right?

*I don't know whether you understand what I wrote (cause I myself also kinda confused). Haha.. =p

Mixture of confusion and thankfulness

I'm feeling pretty uneasy lately. I don't know why. It felt like someone is avoiding me (not that suitable to share here). I'm in a rather confused state at this moment. So lost till I don't know what I want to share. Ohh... I know I need to control it but it's hard. I thought I'm able to control it already and many have thought that as well. But... I don't know. I guess it's up to me again to make the effort. Be strong Kar Men!!!
-Change of topic-
The baptism service is coming soon..real soon.. The feeling of seeing those people taking that step is really GREAT!!! Their situation brings me back to the time when I was in the same situation, which was about 2 years back. I'm really very glad to see my sisters especially being the candidates of the baptism service. Gosh! They've grown tremendously compared to the day when they first join us. I can really see that God is at work in their lives. Without Him, what are we?

How great is our God

Sing with me how great is our God

And all will see how great

How great is our God

It's really amazing to see God at work in people's lives. Did He work in my life? Am I making a difference?

Friends?

Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, But you know they are always there. 'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another...
I was checking my mail and the sentences above was in that mail. It was sent by a friend of mine, Xing Yao. Of all the sentences, the ones above really caught my attention. However, I would like to change it a little bit. Friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know that they are always there... Friends play an important role in my life. I remember a few incidents that happened in my life regarding friendships. Well, I did lost one or two. But I also gained one or two. Lost ones really hurt me a lot and it affected my life. It took me a long long time to get over it and move on. I guess I'm pretty well now though it still hurts when I think back. But, I can't change anything now. I've worked hard to mend it. Gained ones really made a difference in my life. I learnt how to accept different ideas and different personalities. There are different kinds of people in this world- fat, thin, short, tall, annoying, pleasant, generous, stingy,caring, selfish, etc. But, there is one thing that is common- they are all God's creation. So, through the friendship gained, I learnt how to make and effort to love others just as God loves us. Yes, it's not easy. But, at least the effort is there. As the saying goes, when there's a way, there's a will.
For those who are busy studying, be it in Ipoh, KL, overseas or wherever it is, I just want you to know that KAR MEN is right here. I maybe the stars in your life if you want. As for my friends(be it the lost ones, gained ones or always ones), I just want you to know that you will always be in my heart.

Gratitude

Imagine the room you're in now any light whatsoever. It's so dark you can't even see your hand in front of your face. If you were to try to find the door, you'd stumble over the furniture along the way. Then suddenly someone lights a flickering light in the room. Its light gives you the hope you need to find your what around the room, which is no longer pitch black.

Our world of sin can feel like a black room. We stumble around aimlessly, looking for some hope to help us cope with the darkness. God, who loves and created us, provides love through our earthly relationships. he knew the comfort we would find in our friendships here. The relationships you have with your parents, friends, boyfriend, or girlfriend provide happiness and hope in this dark, sinful world...

Now imagine opening the door to that room withjust the candle flickering in it. Right outside the sun shines all of its light into the duskiness of your room. Although our earthly relationships can provide a lot of hope and happiness in your life, God's perfect agape love can provide a million times more. God's love, demostrated in the saving work of Jesus Christ, gives you a blinding brighthope for your future in Him. God wants you to have strong friendships here on earth because He knows how much joy they can bring. Even more, He wants you to spend eternity with Him.

I was having my devotion the other day and the passage above was part of it. There are some "light" in my life and I would like to take a chance to thank them.

• Family- Dad and mum for their nagging (too much also not good), brother for his "solid" advices
• Kian Aun for helping me to think logically and giving confidence for things that I do
• Uncle William for bringing me to EY and consistently reminding of this "no need to do ar?"
• Matthew for comforting me, giving me words of encouragement and treating me like his own sister
• Clarence and Andrew for being a brother to me when my brother's around and away.
• Godsisters for their quality time and providing a place for me to let out
• Jenn, Wan Li and Yian for being there for me whenever I needed advice and guidance
• EY and youth advisors for giving me beneficial and memorable youth meetings
• Aunties and uncles in church for your attention and care
• Chee Ling for being my pal and lending me her ears
• Classmates for accompanying in my secondary school life
• Teachers for your good (encourages me to be someone like you in the future) and bad (trains me to control my anger though I failed most of the time but I won't give up trying)
• Choir for fulfilling my desire to sing
• and last but not least, GOD for giving me everyone above and everything I have as well as showering me with His unfailing love

I can't really list them all out for there are way too many! Anyway, I really want to thank you all for everything that you all have done for me. Be it openly or secretly, THANK YOU!!!

*One more important thing to thank is those who "pamper" me in many ways @ parents, brother, grandparents, Matthew, Kian Aun, Clarence, Andrew, Aunty Sau Yee, sisters-in-Christ, brothers-in-Christ and many many more... =) But that doesn't mean that you all cannot pamper me anymore. CANNOT stop okay?

Movie Review

"The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"

This is a nice show! Who says it's not nice? I like it. It's not as bad as someone said. Well.. Take it positively. The main character is handsome and smart. The other four characters cooperated quite well compared to last time. What else? The war part where they say there were a lot. Well, not that much actually. And they were really smart at their strategies. I really enjoyed it! Though I had to sit there like 2 and a half hours, it was really worth it. Nice show! Worth watching!

Photos..

- My trophy for district level-

-See that?-

"JOHAN PERTANDINGAN KOIR SEKOLAH-SEKOLAH MENENGAH PERINGKAT DAERAH KINTA UTARA 2008"

I'm glad to have all these in my life especially since it's in the last year of my secondary school life. I would like to express my gratitude to my God, family, family-in-christ, teachers, Mr Lee and my choir mates! =) Gambateh in the finals! Even if we don't win, we still gain experience. Right girls? All the best!

Officially..

I have officially finished my last mid year exam of the secondary school. I'm so relaxed now. It feels like a tonne of burden just fell from the chest. But, I'm sure a heavier one is coming soon -trial- followed by the real SPM. Hey! What am I doing? I'm suppose to be relax. Don't think so far first. I passed by the Form 3 classed during my recess lately. Something caught my attention. It was their exam paper which they were busy scribbling on. Can't really believe it that I'm already Form 5. How time flies? I was once in the classrooms doing the same thing. Many things happened that year. Sweet and bitter.. You name it. I guess all those can only be my memories now. As the song goes "I remember the time I knew what happiness was..", that really was happiness but I guess the song missed out a part on the sad one. Haha.. Anyway, those are for me to cherish. Enough of that. I guess a lot of people will be going out to "wed" or treat ourselves with good stuffs after exam. I'm not excluded! I'm going for "Prince Caspian" on Friday after school. Looking forward to it!

Night worship (Part 2)

Finally the day has come. I was kind of looking forward to this day. I wonder why. Maybe it's because whatever I wanted to share was really what was happening in my life. We started the practice at about 3.50p.m. It should have started earlier. However, due to some unforeseen circumstances, it started later. Anyway, we started off with Clarence praying. We carrid on with our songs and stuffs like that. Kar Wai can't sing the high keys so the musicians had to change the keys. Anyway, I can see that he made an effort. We went home at about 5.3op.m. I reached church quite early I would say. I think 7.4op.m.? Thanks to Wan Li and Kian Aun that they came earlier to open up the hall and stuffs. Bernice and Bertin were ther already. Others came in as the clock ticked. But my spokeperson and drummer weren't here yet. Well, I wasn't really nervous actually until the clock shows 8p.m.! I was kind of worried (don't know whether it's because I scared that the worship will not be smooth or that they met with an accident or something). Kian Aun asked whether we should start first. But, I had this feeling that I should wait for them. So, we waited. Finally they were here! We started the night worhsip. I don't know how to describe it. Really! It's just amazing (not to say that I want to boast)! We started off by playing the song "Who am I" by Casting Crowns. It really touched me when I first hear the song. And I wanted to share it. Who am I that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name and care to feel my hurt? And the chorus which said about us like the flower quickly fading and will be here and gone tomorrow... These really touched me. I'm just a small little dot on a white paper but He still cares for me. No matter what I've done, He'll never forsake me. The next song was "Amazing Love". It tells us of the love that God has for us. He's a King and yet He died on the cross for us. Who on earth would die for you? I mean even before you were born? NO ONE! The third song was the most touching one - How Great is our God. I don't know why, tears just rolled down my cheeks. That song really touches me everytime I sing it. He is indeed a great God. Thinking of the great things that He has done for me in my life really struck me. Gosh, those are really what I call meaningful. The last song was "Ever Living God". Some people said that it's a boring song. But to me, it speaks of what God is to me. He's indeed wonderful, marvellous and beautiful! It's really hard to count all the things that he has done for me. They are way too much! Due to the lack of time, we skipped one song - We Give You Glory. For this song, some parts are quite meanigful to me. We give you glory, lifting up our hands and singing Holy, you alone are worthy, we just want to touch your heart Lord, touch your heart. My brother asked me what do you mean when you sing the part "touch your heart". Well, to me, it shows a desire of wanting to know God more and really offer up our praises that will make Him glad and satifisfied and I really want to do that. From the short sharing that Jennifer, Clarence and Kar Wai gave, I really thought about it. For Jenn's case, would I be like her friends when I go out to the world later? Would I be like drift away from God? If I will, would I be so fortunate like Jenn to have someone to bring you back? In Kar Wai's case, Joshua 1:9 - This is my commandment - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. This verse assured me that no matter what happens, God will always be there just for me. In Clarence case, the incident that happened in the bus was really extraordinary. Haha.. Anyway, what he said was true. Some people really act like Christians in church but act like another person when they outside. I know I sometimes do so as well. But, I think if we're doing this, we should change and not continue to be like this despite knowing that it's not right. Anyway, I want to express my gratitude to my team - Andrew, Bernice, Clarence, Kar Wai and Vincent, Kian Aun, Wan Li and Jenn. If I missed out anyone, I'm sorry. I "ganti" back the thank you to you. Thank you! =)

Night worship (Part 1)

Tomorrow is the night worship. It is a special one to me as I'm asked to "songlead". Why do I put it as "songlead"? It's because I'm going to do what a songleader does usually except that a guy will be speaking in front on my behalf. Speical right? Haha..

My spokeperson: Kar Wai (junior)

My back-up singer: Bernice

My pianist: Shireen

My guitarist: Clarence

My drummer: Andrew

My bassist: Vincent

I've prepared everything. But, still feel that there's something here and there that is not complete. Anyway, my theme this time is on the greatness of our Lord. It's more on praising and worshipping Him for everything that He is and everything that He has done for us. For further information, please be at church tomorrow by 8p.m. You'll know what it is all about. Thank you.

WE are the STATE CHAMPION!!!

We won!!! Oh yeah! Wow! That was indeed an eye opener. That also proved that teenage sound rocks! And definitely not 60 years old! Haha.. The competition was held in Taiping Golf Club. Sounds fun right? NO! I need to get up as early as 5 in the morning and reach school by 6.15 in the morning (i sleep longer already cause my coach asked us to wake up at 4 so that our vocal chord can "open" naturally). We left at about 6.30 and reach about 2 hours later. Yes, it looked nice. Haha.. I like the golf course especially. Very beautiful! Then was the competition. It was the primary schools' turn first. We waited there like dungu, without a place to even sit. Our competition which was schelduled to start at 10.30 am started at about 12 noon. What a "good" timing right? We got up so early but we sang so late. So funny of them! Some of the schools sounded really good. But their jaws were falling really down (which sounds like what our coach say 60 years old). That was really different from our style of singing. We thought it's either they win or we win. Or rather 60 years old or 17 years old. But it doesn't really matter cause i would say this is the best performance we have put up this year! The feelings, the pitching (though still got a little bit off here and there) and the solo part for my soprano, those are really what it matters to me. As I told my junior, trust in the Lord! God can really make all things possible! Announcing the results was the funniest part of all. Out of 10 schools, 6 schools were sent away (which means they lost). 4 schools will stay behind till everything ends and wait for the results. 3rd prize was announced and so was the 2nd. The only 2 left were our school and our ex-coach's school. Their voice ... (you know I know la) But they really sounded good from the harmonizing part and stuffs. The worst thing is when the emcee said "SMJK (C)..."! Both of the schools also SMJK(C)! Once the emcee started with "Ave...", we were already screaming and clapping like mad. I was having gastric pain since lunch. I was tensed with the results that i held Bernice and my junior's hand. That was the moment I can't really breathe and the pain just disappear just like that. When we were announced as the winner, I immediately screamed (with my mates) and the pain came back. So funny! My teacher was wiping her tears secretly (wanna hide from us). Haha.. Miss Yau, we saw that! Anyway, thank you Mr Lee for your guidance and your patience with us. Thank you Miss Yau, Pn Anne and Pn Lim for accompanying us through our practices. Thank you all choir members for singing your best. And the most important of all - THANK GOD! I can now proudly say that AMC CHOIR is the STATE CHAMPION of PERAK!

Need to show off a little bit of my trophy. This is the state champion's trophy. District level's trophy's photo is with my friend (upload it later)

Group photo in Taiping Golf Resort

Finals will be next month 24th to 25th of June in Teluk Batik. I heard that we are staying at the resort or something. But that doesn't matter. It's national level, who cares! As long as we're there. But do pray for me as well (cause I'm afraid that my dad won't allow me to go). Hehe.. Anyway, national level is going to be an eye opener for us. I don't think so we stand a chance to win though. Anyway, with God, all things are possible, right? I must pray hard from now. Haha.. =)

Exam..

Just finished one week of my exams. Wow! It's not nice nor enjoying. But there is one thing that i would like to acknowledge - God is the source of strength! He indeed is omnipotent. With Him, everything is possible. Guess what? I wasn't even scared on the first day of exam. When i stepped into the school, everybody was like only staring and mugging the book. Me, i did nothing but just sat there and waited for the paper to come. Wow! That one was the best exam of my life (though I don't guarantee that I score). But I really felt His presence with me at that very moment. On the second day of my exam, I got to know a shocking news. My choir competition is on the 15th and my exam ends at 21st, which means i need to sacrifice one. Upon knowing the news, i kept praying that my dad would allow me to go for the competition as this is the state level and this is my last year. I prayed very hard for the Lord to soften my dad's heart. I can't even focus for the next paper. When i reached home, I immediately told my mum about it. I even cried telling her about my fear (maybe the crying can soften her heart and make her persuade dad but that's not the point). She just said that I should not talk when dad comes back, she will talk on my behalf (cause I always speak at the wrong time and can't get what i want). When dad came back, I kept quiet. I finished my dinner and went straight to "mug" my book. I wasn't really focusing on my book but was actually hearing to what mum was going to say. Time was ticking and it was already 9.15pm, mum hasn't talk to dad. I was like..Hello! Are you forgetting something? Mum just said "wait!". That was really training my patience! I waited and waited. Finally, mum opened her golden mouth. Dad asked me whether it would affect my exam. I replied by saying that I will still sit for the exam but I won't be having my position for the mid year (that was good for me cause then my dad won't be asking why is my position so bad and stuffs). He said let him think over first and he would give me an answer the next morning. I can hardly sleep that night. Thinking that he won't allow me to go for the competition and stuffs like that cause to me, dad really take exams seriously. I was praying so hard that i repeated the line "Lord, please soften my dad's heart" umpteen times. To my surprise, the answer i got the next morning was a "yes"! My heart was like jumping out of its position. I can hardly believe my ears. It's a "yes"! A "yes"! Thank God!!! I can go for the competition!!! It's the state level. I thought that since i won't be having my position, i don't have to study so seriously. But my piano teacher's words struck me "Your results will be your testimony to others". The other days went on quite well (but that doesn't mean i score). Friday was my EST paper1, Sejarah paper1 and Chinese paper1. I was stunned when I got my Chinese paper. I don't even know what i was writing. I came out and told my mum that i need a walk tonight. And true enough, mum brought me to Jusco (for me to release tension). She bought some sushi and 7-eleven's slurpee for my "supper" (though it's fattening to have supper but to release tension, i have to). Anyway, I still have another 7 days to go. I hope that it can pass faster. Hate exams!

Catching up

Gosh! I've missed so much for the past few days (due to the dial up that was cut to replace with a streamyx which is making me feeling crazy) . I didn't know that the "spam corner" in the EY blog was visited by so many people. I had to spend a long time to go through each of them to make sure that I'm not left out. I still remember that when i first started the blog, very little people visit it that i thought of terminating it. But, it's so encouraging seeing people chatting (or rather crapping) in the "spam corner". Thanks guys! I hope my blog one day will get so many visitors as well. Haha.. (though my blog got nothing to read)

Besides catching up with the blog, studies is also one thing that I'm catching up with. I don't know whether this is running in my family. Whenever I see the book in front of me, I feel like dozing off. I wonder why. That's why I don't know what to do with my mid year that is starting on Monday. I've give up hope on it (I said that every time I have my exam but i still cry over the terrible results that I get). Please pray for me. I do need wisdom and confidence to face the exam now. Luckily, this is only mid year. I don't know what would I do when it's SPM. Gosh! Anyway, I'm looking forward to the end of SPM (why am I thinking so far?).

*NS list gonna be out soon. I hope that i won't be the lucky one. I don't wanna go for NS.