From the bottom of my heart

Actually I know something has happened
Actually I sense the difference
Actually I know I'm not thinking too much
Actually I'm disappointed because of it

But I know there's nothing that I can do
Perhaps I'm just not her

It's my mistake

I thought you were different
But you turned out to be just like the rest

I thought things have changed for the better
But it turned out to be the opposite

Yeaaaaa
I thought many things
But thoughts are JUST thoughts
They will never be a reality

*Is this pre-exam emotion disorder or what?

I KNOW

I know I am a failure
I know I don't have as many friends as YOU
I know I am not as sociable as YOU
I know I am not up to YOUR expectation
I know I am a nobody

All I want to say.. YOU don't have to make me feel more terrible about myself with the things YOU do

I know I'm not perfect and nobody is.

加油吧！

身为你的朋友。。

我不会怪你。。

我不会强迫你。。

我会默默地支持你。。

我会陪你走过这一段路。。

你不需要理我。。

也不需要刻意为我做些什么。。

只要你开心就好。。

友谊不是轻易可以得到的。。

友谊是需要经过磨炼的。。

友谊是需要付出的。。

我等。。

When emotions get the most of me..

我又沒有很想你，
我只是在早上醒來的時候，看看手機，有沒有你發來的信息，有沒有你的未接來電。
我又沒有很想你，
我只是在開電腦的時候，第一個跑去你的SPACE踩踩，看看你今天是不是有更新。
我又沒有很想你，
我只是在聊天的時候，打開你的對話框，看著你的頭像，或者
重溫一下以前的記錄。
我又沒有很想你，
我只是把你的來電調成唯一的鈴音，放在我身邊，並時不時的看看是否自動關機，是否信號良好。
我又沒有很想你，
我只是在和朋友的聊天中，不厭其煩的提起你，講那些也許他們都早已爛熟於心的事情。

Many people enter my life. We get to know each other and we become close. When friendship starts to build and I thought it will remain strong, they walk out of my life. This is when it hurts a lot. After much crying, the scar is formed. And the cycle goes over and over again. Things get worse when I can't even shed tears. Things get even worse when there is actually no more space left to form another scar but the scar still forms.

I have to learn how to be more independent. I've said these so many times and yet I don't learn my lessons. Why oh why???

**SLAP MYSELF** WAKE UP!!!

Random thoughts

Did I make the right decision to be here?

Did I listen to the right voice?

Did I do anything wrong?

Did I say anything wrong?

Am I a mistake here?

Am I a threat to you?

Am I so unlovable?

Am I such an eyesore?

Do you know?

Do you know that I miss you?
Do you know that I want to know what happened?

Do you know that I miss home?
Do you know that

为什么？

异族就不能做好朋友吗？异族就不能做知己吗？你这是什么道理？

*Happy 2nd Anniversary*

Random release

You always say that I think too much

But you are the one who make me think so much

I'm sorry if I'm not up to YOUR standard in whatever it is

That's just me

People talk

People tease

So?

Awesome weekend!

Let me see.. What has happened to me for the last weekend?

Friday

-Reached home on Friday night

-Supposed to meet up for meeting (but P.I.C went off already)

Saturday

-Woke up at 7am to go for breakfast and start "work" (supposed to meet at 8.30am)

-Reached "workplace", P.I.C still not there yet

-Waited until 10 something only start "work"

-Got "lectured" and "scolded" for things that are non of my business (and yet still maintaining my sweet smile)

-Went to Jusco with Geok Cher, Shim, Joan and Christine and met up with Kiu Leong

Sunday

-Woke up at 6 something to prepare to go to church

-Brought Geok Cher, Shim, Joan and Christine to "dai shu giok"

-Went to Parade to leave them for some shopping

-Walked to aunt's house to be picked up for family lunch

-My time for some shopping in Parade while waiting for the rest to finish movie and shopping

-Went to Snow Fusion for Snow Ice

-Went back to take my car and found out that my car got ransacked!

-No mood for anything but got persuaded to go De Garden's Wong Kok for dinner

-Couldn't sleep and woke up at 4 something am

Monday

-Went for Dim Sum with family

-Meet up with Kiu Leong

-Pack

-Off to bus station

What a "marathon-ic" weekend! @@

First SBE

What should I say about it?

I was totally blur. I was all alone. So many "first time"s of the school happened today. I myself don't know what I was doing. I guess, first day is for us to bang ourselves against the wall. Lol

Let's go to the best part!

Entering school as a different identity is so exciting! When I reached the school, none of the teachers was there (dad asked me to leave house early so that I won't be late and I wasn't late AT ALL.. just TOO early :P). Some students stared at me like one kind. Some kept smiling at me and say "Good morning, teacher." So cute!!!

When I went to observe an English class (happened to enter Ashley's class), they were so excited. They greeted "Good morning, teacher". Then the teacher asked, "What's your surname?" Then they said, "Good morning, Miss Chan." When I wanted to take photos for documentation, they kept looking at me (I think they want themselves to be seen CLEARLY in the photos. Haha.. So cute! When I was about to leave, they said, "Thank you, Miss Chan". When I walked to the door, a student asked me, "Can I know your full name?" I told her and she was so happy. Haha.. There were some jokes in the class that I can't stop laughing. McDonald's "M" in their essay and also having snakes, tigers and elephants as their pet. Gosh! I wanted to laugh my heads off but I need to maintain my sweet face XD

I also went around to survey the school as no mentor was assigned to me (yet! I think). When the students saw me, again they greeted and all. Then there was this girl who said, "Teacher, you look so beautiful". I wanna melt already XD

So much for first day. Am hoping that I can do more things tomorrow.

Why

Life is full of questions where it seems like there are no answers to them.

Are we still talking or what?

Are things going to be done on time or what?

Are those things carried across or what?

Am I going to survive these or what?

Finding answers is not fun!

Congrats!

I'm glad that he has found his special one. It's comforting to see their happy moments. May God continue to bless the both of you. :) Amen.

Got me thinking again

Thanks for the discouragement!

Now I wonder whether I made the right choice.

How I wish

At this present moment
I just hope that everything will go back to its original state
At this present moment
I just hope that someone will tell me, "Everything is going to be just fine."

At this present moment
I hope there's a bowl of hot chicken porridge in front of me
At the present moment
I hope that mum or dad can hold me in their arms as if I'm a baby

At this present moment
I know there are many people who care about me
At this present moment
I know that there's only one person who would NEVER leave me - God

Thank you, my heavenly Daddy =)